


The Inquisition Needs Ghost Stories

by caitirin



Series: The Chronicles of Teithranen Lavellan: Plant-Obsessed Soft-Hearted Inquisitor [18]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Campfires, Camping, Dorian Being Dorian, Dorian's sass, Fluff, Ghost Stories, M/M, Snuggling, Teasing, Varric Tethras Writes, fears, ghosts in the dark, peeing in the woods, soft hearted-inquistors, storyteller Varic, surprise undead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14925446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitirin/pseuds/caitirin
Summary: Teithranen Lavellan, Herald of Andraste and Leader of the Inquisition is supposed to be fearless.  But little do his friends know, he's absolutely terrified of ghost stories.---A log in the fire popped loudly as it settled and Tei let out a yelp of fear and jumped.  As he felt the eyes of every person at the campsite turn towards him, he shrank back further into the blanket.Iron Bull sorted with laughter.  “Seriously, boss? You fight red templars, rabid wolves, and demons every day but ghost stories have you terrified?”Tei whined.  “It was scary!”





	The Inquisition Needs Ghost Stories

**Author's Note:**

> My Inquisitor is named Teithranen Lavellan (Tei).

“...And she was never seen alive again.  But they say still to this very day that if you walk down the gallery at midnight when the moon is full, you’ll hear the sound of her singing echoing around you.”  Varric leaned back from the fire with a smile.

A general chuckle and groan went around the campfire as Bull, Sera, and Dorian laughed at Varric’s ghost story.  The only person not laughing was the Inquisitor. Tei was sitting on the ground in front of Dorian with a blanket up over his head, only terrified eyes visible as he clutched the folds under his chin.  A log in the fire popped loudly as it settled and Tei let out a yelp of fear and jumped. As he felt the eyes of every person at the campsite turn towards him, he shrank back further into the blanket.

Iron Bull sorted with laughter.  “Seriously, boss? You fight red templars, rabid wolves, and demons every day but ghost stories have you terrified?”

Tei whined.  “It was scary!”  

“Really, Amatus?”

Tei turned and scowled at him.  “Hey! You’re scared of nug feet!”

Dorian sputtered for a second as Sera doubled over in laughter.

“Nugs?”  She pointed at him and laughed.  “They’re like hairless piglet hamsters.  Pffft!”

Dorian rolled his eyes.

“Big scary Magister man is afraid of nugs!”

Tei looked pleased and loosened his death grip on the blanket.  

Dorian put his arms around Tei’s shoulders.  “You’re a terrible man and I cannot think why the Inquisition has kept you around this long.”

“They just want me for my body.”  Tei waved the anchor around.

Varric actually snorted with amusement.  “Well,  _ he _ certainly does.”  He gestured at Dorian.

“I must have lost my mind when I hit my head leaving Haven.  It’s the only explanation for such questionable judgement.” Dorian pulled the blanket back and smoothed Tei’s messy hair.  “Go on, Varric, tell us another tale.”

Varric looked askance at Tei.  “That all right with you?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.  It’s fine,” Tei said with a nervous glance around.

Varric chuckled.  “All right. This story begins at sea.  Picture, if you will, a tiny sailing ship, tossed about mercilessly as it tries to cross the Circle Sea during a fearsome rainstorm.  The waves were so high and the winds so strong the captain had ordered his first mate to lash him to the ship’s wheel to prevent him from losing control and being tossed into the towering blackness of the waves.  The clouds had become so thick they blotted out the sky. The compass had been smashed when the ship’s healer had fallen on it, and it now showed nothing but the color of his blood...”

By the time everyone was turning in for the night, Tei was so wired with fear and adrenaline he couldn’t sleep.  He let Dorian steer him to their tent and he lay down on his stomach on his bedroll, clutching his pillow to his chest with terror.  

Dorian tried to be sympathetic and mask his laughter, but it was late and he had soon fallen asleep.  

The entire campsite was eerily still.  Tei couldn’t decide whether he should open the tent flaps so that he could see what was outside, or whether it was safer to stay put and not know.  Every snap of a twig became the footfalls of the hook man, come to tear his insides out. Every whisper of the wind through the trees became the haunting song of the young woman searching for her murdered baby.  The mournful hoot of an owl was absolutely the hollow warning sound of the terrible spirit that hunted elves to take their ears and tear the vallaslin from their faces. 

Tei whimpered and pulled the blanket over his head.

 

\---

 

He hadn’t gotten any sleep at all and it was late into the night.  And he had to pee. Badly. There was no way this would wait until the morning when the sun rose again.  And there was no way he was going out there alone.

“Dorian.”  Tei shook Dorian’s shoulder.  “Wake up.”

Dorian grumbled and rolled over blinking blearily at Tei.  He made a displeased sound. “Is it morning already?”

“No, not yet.”

Dorian grumbled.  “What then?”

“I have to pee,”  Tei said urgently.

Dorian raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow.  “... Yes, and?”

Tei looked guilty.  “I don’t want to go out there alone.”

“What?”

Tei shivered.  “...Ghosts?”

“Oh for the love of--”  Dorian pushed himself into a seated position.  “You’re serious?”

Tei looked sad.

Dorian shook his head.  “Come on then.” He brought his blanket with him, wrapping it around his shoulders.

Tei started pulling on his enchanter’s coat and picked up his staff.

“Armor?  For peeing in the woods?  Really?”

Tei stuck out his tongue.  “Don’t be an ass. It never hurts to be prepared.”

Dorian shook his head and headed out of the tent.

They walked a short ways out into the woods and Dorian waited.  He hugged the blanket around his shoulders and leaned against a tree with a huge yawn.

Tei hurried, keeping a constant watch over his shoulder for some horrible ghostly creature that was surely about to spring out of the darkness.  

Dorian had his eyes closed, almost falling asleep on his feet.  He folded his arms across his chest. “Are you done yet? I am sleeping standing up and this isn’t good for my skin.”  Dorian yawned and then suddenly jerked back to wakefulness as a bolt of lightning shot past his head a fraction of an inch from his cheek.  “KAFFAS, AMATUS. WELL, I AM AWAKE NOW!” He glared at Tei, who was brandishing his staff, static energy crackling at the end.

“UNDEAD!”  Tei shoved past him, already pulling the energy for a barrier around them both.

Dorian snapped to attention.  The blanket fell off his shoulders and he reached for fire energy.  Normally, with a staff in his hand, Dorian could place a line of fire so precise he could have used it to shave.  But in the middle of the night, caught off guard, and without a staff to use as a focus, his normally perfectly contained fire spells were less like piercing lines of fire and more like exploding water balloons of fire.  If he wasn’t careful he was going to set the woods around them ablaze.

It was not even a full minute before the Iron Bull came crashing through the underbrush and flattened the nearest undead before it had a chance to take a swipe out of Tei.  Tei looked up thankfully, but Bull was already advancing on the next one. 

Dorian stood back to back with Tei, trying to keep his fire spells in check with sheer force of will.  “Do you think he sleeps in that armor? That was quick!”

Tei paralyzed the shambling creature closest to Iron Bull with a quick gesture of his staff.  “... Maybe? Will you focus on the imminent threat to our lives, please?”

With the help of Varric and Sera, who arrived only moments later, they soon had the midnight ambush dealt with.  Dorian heaved a sigh. Casting without a staff to focus was much more draining. He sagged against a tree. He pushed a hand back through his hair and yelped as he got a nasty static shock.

Sera giggled.  “What’s the matter, Dorian, set your own hair on fire?”

He gave her a flat look.  “Static discharge. Result of a lightning bolt cast a bit closely.”  He fixed Tei with an unamused expression.

“What?”  Tei shrugged his shoulders.  “You’d rather I let the zombie bite your pretty ear off?  You’d be complaining for weeks about getting blood on your robes.”

Dorian raised a finger to make a brilliant counter point, but then got another shock.  He jumped.

Bull leaned on his mace.  “Hey, at least he said you have pretty ears.”  

Dorian smirked.  “Almost as nice as when he compared me to lovely dirt.”

Tei rolled his eyes.  “I am never going to compliment you ever again.  Next time the zombie can have you.” 

“You  _ are  _ pretty dirty,” Sera said with a lascivious grin and an obscene hip thrust.

Tei choked on the sip of water he’d just taken.  

Dorian laughed.  “It’s actually more of this kind of motion, Sera.”  Dorian moved his hips a little differently.

“And it all depends on whether you’re topping or bottoming too. Topping is more like this.”  Iron Bull demonstrated an entirely different motion.

Varric appeared to be taking notes.  “And here I’d always thought it would be more--”

Tei’s entire face went bright red.  “OH MY-- Do not HELP!”

Sera cackled. “Oh, come on Inquisitor.  We all know you’re all hot for your Magister Man.”

Tei covered his face.  His voice was muffled when he spoke.  “I am going back to bed. Please, by all means, feel free to continue debating the details of my intimate relationships without me!”  Tei stalked back off to his tent and vanished inside it, trying to escape the entire encounter.

Dorian joined him moments later, still laughing.

Tei rolled over on his bedroll with his back to Dorian, stubbornly ignoring him.

Dorian lay down next to him.  “Something bothering you, Amatus?”  He rested his cheek on one hand and laid the other across Tei’s hip.  The touch of his hand to the wool blanket set a residual electric shock through both of them.  

Tei yelped, started, and turned to face Dorian.  His face scrunched into an indignant scowl.

“That one was your own fault.  You nearly electrocuted me,” Dorian said smugly.

“To save your life, you ungrateful wretch.”  Tei let Dorian move closer and pull blankets over both of them. “Next time, maybe you’d rather be eaten by the undead.”

Dorian kissed Tei.  “You’re absolutely right.  Thank you for saving my clothing and my shoulder from unseemly amounts of undead ichor and blood.”  Dorian looked down at Tei who was snuggling up to him, proving that he wasn’t actually angry. “How was that?”

“Clothing and then shoulder?  In order of priority?”

“Blood washes off skin so much easier than silk.”  

Tei shook his head.  “You’re insane.” Tei ran his fingers over Dorian’s thankfully unharmed shoulder.  His skin was cold. Tei pushed Dorian down onto his back so that he could lay his head on Dorian’s shoulder to warm it.  “Well, at least now you can never make fun of me for taking my staff along at night again.”

Dorian snorted with amusement.  “Fair. But I am never going to forgive you for this awful static.”  He tapped Tei on the nose, discharging another tiny spark. “However, Amatus, I’d much rather you took  _ my _ staff.”  Dorian waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Tei rolled his eyes.  “You are terrible, and that line is worse.  If you ever want me to ‘take your staff’ again, you’ll need to come up with much better lines than that.”

Dorian laughed.  “Oh come now, you’ve been charmed by my honeyed tongue plenty of times before.  And with far worse lines than that one.” 

“Great, now you’re implying that I have low standards.  Keep digging yourself in deeper, Tevinter.” Tei closed his eyes with a smile, it was true, Dorian was utterly charming, even when what he said was completely ridiculous.

“You eat bugs and are happy to roll in dirt.  Of the two of us, I’m sure my standards are the higher of the two.”

“You keep fussing about that, I’m starting to think you actually like the bugs and dirt thing.”  Tei pulled Dorian’s arms around him. “Now shush so I can sleep while you stay awake to keep me safe from ghosts.”

“Ah yes, this is what I came to the South for, to protect a superstitious lunatic from imaginary foes,” said Dorian.

“Hey, that’s  _ heretical _ superstitious lunatic to you, mister.  Don’t forget that part.” 

“Should I add another title? If we do that then introducing you will be more of a mouthful than Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast, such-and-such number in line for the Nevarran throne,”  Dorian teased.

Tei smiled and closed his eyes.  “Amatus is more than enough title for me.”

Dorian smiled in the darkness.  “Sleep well then, Amatus.”


End file.
